


Homonyms and Homeopathy

by Silex



Category: Original Work
Genre: Fantasy, Gen, Humor, Magic Shops, Retail Jobs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-01
Updated: 2019-08-01
Packaged: 2020-07-28 18:22:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20068501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silex/pseuds/Silex
Summary: All sorts of customers stop by in the little magic shop that Elfleda runs, some more interesting than others. Some days she even ends up learning things about the products she carries thanks to people using them in unexpected ways.





	Homonyms and Homeopathy

**Author's Note:**

  * For [outruntheavalanche](https://archiveofourown.org/users/outruntheavalanche/gifts).

It was another day at Belzak and Bodkin’s Magical Item Emporium and Elfleda was in a particularly good mood. The latest shipment of crystals had come in and there was something soothing about restocking that particular display, putting all the little stones in their places, positioning them so that their facets caught the light just so. She’d ordered a few fossils this time as well because she had the feeling that they’d be big sellers. Crystals were nice, stones were safe and they were what people expected in a magic shop. It was nice to have something so mundane so popular.

Hanging the colorful bits of quartz on chains, popular for divination, always made her smile. She’d done a fair bit of divination herself, mostly for fun when she was younger and she had some crazy stories from those misadventures. Most of her customers weren’t talented enough to get in that kind of trouble though, so divination aids were also perfectly safe.

The scrying glasses needed polishing and despite the ‘do not touch’ sign on it, the crystal ball was covered in fingerprints.

Again.

People couldn’t leave well enough alone.

Thinking of which, she glanced over her shoulder at the athames. If she got one more complaint about the fact that she had a bunch of regular buck knives in with them she was going to chase that person out of the shop with one of them. Those buck knives were made locally, their handles hand carved from antler and the locals loved them. Supporting local artisans was one of her favorite aspects of running the little store she’d inherited from her uncles.

The little chime over the door jangled merrily and Elfleda looked up.

A young, blond woman smiled when she caught sight of her and then held up…

Dear lord that thing looked like an enormous tribble. It was a nearly round puff of long, white and black fur.

As Elfleda stared it twitched and made small, grumbly sound.

“It worked, but,” the woman put the tribble down on the counter, “This.”

Elfleda hurried over to look at the thing. The tribble was alive. As soon as it was on the counter it hopped over to the bowl of dog treats she kept there and sniffed at them.

“Don’t eat that Toby.”

The tribble had a name, Toby. Elfleda wasn’t sure how she felt about that. She didn’t sell animals so was the creature a familiar?

How did someone even summon a tribble?

The woman pulled Toby the tribble away from the bowl of treats and all that fur shook as some unseen appendage pounded against the counter.

“Don’t you thump at me,” the woman scolded, before smiling up at Elfleda, “He’s as hairy as an angora, I wasn’t expecting that at all.”

“What were you expecting?” Elfleda asked carefully. She vaguely remembered the woman, but what had she been looking for? The essential oils? Or had it been the herbal supplements? But how could either of those give a person a tribble?

“It to help with his tummy troubles, which it did, but then all his fur grew out like this. It’s the darndest thing,” the woman patted the tribble affectionately and it wiggled and perked up under her hand, a pair of tufts rising up from what Elfleda decided was probably its head end, “It’s quite the conversation starter though.”

Yes, Elfleda could see how a tribble could be a conversation starter. Tummy troubles though, that was at least a start she could use. It was probably some potion or herb that the woman had gotten.

“Do you have the bottle?” Elfleda asked, hopefully.

“Of course,” the woman reached into her purse and Toby went straight back to the dog treats, pulling one out and then dropping it on the counter.

“Stop it Toby,” she scolded absentmindedly as she rummaged around in her purse, “I know it’s here somewhere, I’ve been giving it to him every day, rubbing five drops right between his ears, just like the instructions say.”

“I see,” Elfleda, pursed her lips, wondering why, if the result was a problem, that the woman kept giving Toby whatever it was she was giving him.

“Ah, here it is!” The woman triumphantly put a little amber colored bottle down on the counter, “I’d never give Toby some artificial chemical medicine, which is why I’m so glad you have natural remedies.”

Toby promptly hopped over and knocked it down. Fortunately it remained firmly corked.

It was a bottle of hair tonic. The woman was rubbing hair tonic on Toby, whatever he was, and wondering why his fur so long.

“And why did you…” Elfleda trailed off. No, that couldn’t be right.

She picked up the bottle for a closer look.

The label said Hare Tonic.

“Give me a moment,” Elfleda went over to the display where the bottle came from. All of the older bottles were correctly labeled as Hair Tonic, but the most recent ones were ‘Hare Tonic’.

How had she missed that when she’d been bottling the potions?

When she got things sorted out she was going to have some words with the company she purchased her labels from. Or go back to labeling the jars herself.

That thought was enough to make her shudder. Graphic design had never been her strong point and going through the trouble of either purchasing the rights to use an image or drawing one herself was a job she was glad to be done with after she had found that nice little printing company.

Elfleda glanced over her shoulder. Toby was still trying to eat the dog biscuits in between knocking things over on the counter as the woman tried to keep him from doing so. As it stood Toby was having more success, going so far as managing to pull on the roll of paper in the cash register and begin happily munching on it.

Small wonder the creature had stomach problems if it ate like a goat all the time.

“Could you please –?”

It was too late, Toby had already managed to knock over the little jar of worry dolls Elfleda kept on the counter and was, appropriately enough, worrying at one of them.

When the woman tried to take it from Toby the creature let out a surprisingly loud huff and stomped loudly.

“Don’t thump at me,” the woman chided gently.

Toby was clearly unimpressed by the way he stomped again and then nudged the jar the dolls had been in off the counter.

Luckily the glass didn’t break.

“Toby might be happier if you left him in the car,” Elfleda offered, hoping to prevent any further messes.

“Oh no,” the woman looked horrified at the mere thought, “I couldn’t do that! He’s my emotional support rabbit. He goes everywhere with me.”

Toby huffed again.

That explained everything far too well and answered the question of what Toby was.

“Well,” Elfleda gathered the mislabeled bottles, mentally going over the ingredients of the potion. Nothing in it would be harmful to a rabbit as far as she knew, especially since Toby’s owner was applying it topically, as directed, “I think Toby’s going to be fine. Once he sheds his fur should grow back in normal as long as you don’t use any more tonic on him. I can get you some aspen twigs for him if you –”

The woman brightened at the mention of the twigs, “Oh, it’s so nice that you actually know about rabbits. So many people just don’t get them. Toby loves chewing on things and he’d love an aspen twig or two.”

Elfleda’s intent had been to teach the woman a basic charm to help with sooth Toby’s stomach and temper, but she had to wonder if it would be worth it.

“Right,” Elfleda smiled, “I’ll got get them from the back.”

She kept them for some spells and potions she made from time to time, but giving a few away to get Toby and his owner out of the store was a far better use for them, especially once she explained the mislabeled bottles to the woman. She was a good enough judge of her clientele to know potential trouble when it came in and a woman with as flighty a creature as a rabbit as an emotional support animal certainly had to be handled delicately.

As soon as she stepped into the back room she heard a loud crash.

Taking a deep breath, Elfleda found the twigs, counted to ten and came back to find the woman holding Toby under one arm while trying to pick up the dog biscuits, Toby having finally managed to knock the whole jar over.

“I’m so sorry,” the woman apologized, “He’s been so frisky lately. I probably should get him a friend to play with, but he’s so used to being an only bunny that I worry he might get jealous and then what would I do?”

“Here you,” Elfleda took a handful of dog biscuits from the woman and passed her the twigs, “These should help keep his stomach troubles gone.”

“Thank you!” The woman took the twigs and handed one to Toby. The rabbit immediately dropped the thoroughly mangled worry doll that he’d managed to keep a hold of the whole time, and took the stick, “How much?”

“How much what?” Elfleda blinked, understanding coming slower than it should have, “Oh, no, none at all. They’re free because –”

“Because you like rabbits too!” The woman smiled and hugged Toby, causing the rabbit to toss his head and nearly poke her in the eye with the twig that he was gnawing on, not that the woman seemed bothered by the risk of injury. Smiling she rubbed her face against the rabbit, “And she knows that you’re such a good boy, such a sweet heart!”

Cooing happily to the rabbit the woman left the store.

Elfleda stared at the woman leaving and the mess left behind. For a moment she considered calling out to her, telling her what had happened to make Toby’s fur grow the way it had, but then thought better of it.

It might not have been the right thing to do, but considering the mess that Toby had made Elfleda was willing to say that things balanced out.

Shaking her head she went to fetch a broom to sweep up the dog biscuits, in the process noticing the little ‘gift’ that Toby had left on the counter. No wonder his owner had been in such a hurry to get out.

**Author's Note:**

> No disrespect meant to people who have service animals.


End file.
